Forbidden City

During an unbelievable ten day trip to China in April, I managed to visit 8 cities, take 9 separate flight legs, and  stay in 6 different hotels. It was grueling and miraculous at the same time.  All of the pieces should not have fallen into place; a trip like this just does not come off without a hitch.  And yet, it did….and the feeling was one of being exactly where I was supposed to be in every moment.

Besides our official meetings with business women and professionals, throughout these travels I also interacted with countless ordinary Chinese women: tour guides, desk clerks, restaurant waitresses, flight attendants, shop clerks, etc.  Brief and random interactions in train stations, airports, on the street and at tourist attractions often led to interesting exchanges where I ended up handing someone a foreverlily sample card.  Many of them asked why I was traveling in China, so I had an opportunity to tell them about my daughters, our perfume, foreverlily, and share samples with them.  I gave out over 40 travel size perfumes, and between 50 and 100 scented bookmark samples.  I also gave out our signature tote bags, and carried a bag throughout the trip.  So many people were attracted to the pattern on the bag and remarked on how beautiful they thought it was.

One  two year old little boy who I met in an orphanage could not take his eyes off it…he kept pointing to the pattern, and the various symbols he saw in it.  I got chills as I watched him point to the bird, the lily,then the mandela and back to the bird.  I wondered what was going through his mind;  he was so engrossed in the pattern and was trying to communicate something to me about it.  He grasped onto the bag and did not want to let it go.

The first woman I gave a fragrance sample to was a tour guide named ‘Cindy’ who was with us for two days in Beijing.  I gave her the sample on the first day, and the next day when she came to pick us up she said she had read all the information on the card and already looked up the GTB website.  She couldn’t believe that all of this came from the adoption of a baby from a Chinese orphanage.  She said that she was most struck by the name of our foundation, Golden Phoenix.  “This is a very beautiful thing in China”, she said.  “Means female rising.” When she said it she got a big smile on her face and gave the universal sign of acceptance:  a thumbs up.

Most of the women whom I shared the fragrance with were, in a word, delighted by it.  What attracted them first were the Asian design elements of the sample cards and totes.  When they smelled the actual fragrance they seemed transported… many got very quiet and seemed almost not to know what to say.  When they did speak about it they used words like “lovely” and “beautiful”.   They were very familiar with the notes of the fragrance, especially the lychee and lily elements.  When I explained that the perfume was inspired by my daughter, who was born in China, and my love for her, I got some interesting responses.  Many said things like “Your daughter is so lucky”.  But one professional woman said, “Chinese women deserve this…deserve to know they are beautiful and loved.”   I couldn’t agree more.

The most poignant of the exchanges I had were with the children and little girls in the orphanages I visited.  In their day to day environments, there is nothing of beauty and nothing designed purely for enjoyment or to lift the spirits.  When I showed them the sample cards, and demonstrated how to lift the flap and smell the perfume, they were engrossed as if I was showing them the most intricate, intriguing toy or gadget; but it was just a piece of paper that smelled good.  To them, though, it was like a miracle.  They kept lifting it to their noses again and again, and clutching these papers as if their lives depended on it. And I thought, perhaps it does…..perhaps our lives do depend on beauty, on love, on happiness.  And who knows where that smell transported them, or what was in their thoughts later that night as they lifted the paper yet again to their noses, one more time before going to sleep…my dream is that it took them somewhere beautiful, surrounded by the protective cloak of love that is foreverlily.

My little Chinese Tiger-Lily

Happy Chinese New Year! On February 14th, the Year of the Tiger officially began according to the traditional Chinese system, which recognizes the cyclical nature of life. Both Lily and I were born in Tiger years, so I have high expectations for 2010. Next month I will be traveling to China, to visit Lily’s orphanage for the first time since I brought her home. Late last year, I suddenly began feeling the urge to go, and I didn’t know why, except to say that the timing felt ‘right’. It wasn’t until last week when I was thinking about Chinese New Year that I realized, that by the end of this Tiger year, an entire cycle in the Chinese Lunar system will have been completed since I first went to China. Chinese New Year has reminded me that cycles have their own timing, and where you happen to be in the cycle determines the appropriate action to take. It is wise to understand that this usually can’t be rushed. With our linear, hurried, make-it-happen mentality, it can be hard to accept the ephemeral notion that it’s just not ‘time’ for something to happen. By understanding and embracing the beauty of cycles, it can be easier to allow ourselves to flow with events as they move toward fruition. And now for us, the time has come to close one loop, and begin preparing for the next phase of our journey. We invoke the strength, beauty and grace of the Tiger as we begin what is sure to be an interesting year.

First Gifts of Christmas

“Behold there came, Wisemen from the East…saying where is he that is born? For we have seen his star in the East and have come to worship him…..And when they saw the young child with Mary, his mother, they fell down and worshipped him; and when they opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”

Have you ever wondered why the first gifts of Christmas included not one, but two, perfumes? Gold, frankincense and myrhh…..the gifts were the most valuable commodities of the ancient world. Gold, used then and now as money and adornment; and frankincense and myrhh, used as perfume, for religious ritual and for embalming. If seen only literally, these gifts make little sense. What would a baby do with a bit of gold and some pieces of resin?

Frankincense and myrrh are both resins hardened from the sap of trees. They are the living essence, the life force, of the tree distilled into a fragrant bit of material. Since ancient times, this life force has been used as the basis of perfumes and in religious ceremonies because the living vibration assists in opening the mind and heart. The Wise Men were giving the Christ Child the gift of a substance that would assist him in becoming what he was born to be: a living god. In the ancient world there was an understanding that these substances were not primarily about ‘smelling good’; they were a tool to raise consciousness.

Frankincense and myrrh are still used today in perfumes and incense and it is still a tradition to give wonderful perfumes to loved ones during the Christmas season. When chosen wisely, these gifts of perfume can be a source of joy and provide comfort and protection each day of the year. And it is not too much to hope that they can also help us become what we were meant to be.

There are moments when a song you’ve heard many times before suddenly speaks to you in a new way. Earlier this week, my Ipod ‘accidentally’ flipped to a song by Alison Krauss called “Get Me Through December.”

The first time I heard this song was just before the first Christmas season without my sister, who had died earlier that year of cancer. I had spent 11 months on a downhill trajectory, and by that December, I was praying for something, anything, to get me through. At that time, the song spoke to me of my sadness; the hopeful part, the desire to start again that is the essence of the song, did not even resonate. I listened to the song over and over, focusing mainly on the first stanza, which speaks of preparing for the long winter ahead, and the coldness of loss. The stanza ends with the line, “Faith can move mountains, of that I am sure…just get me through December, so I can start again.” At that point I was not sure about faith, or about wanting to start again. It was Christmas, and the belief that I was supposed to be happy and joyful made me feel guilt on top of the deep sadness. I just wanted December, and the Christmas season, to be over.

This week when I heard the song again, I understood that it is about the profound hope that can come after a long winter of pain. This past year has been a challenging one for many, and for us as a nation. I wonder how many are struggling through the holiday season with false gaiety, just hoping to make it through December. To start again.

Listening to the song this time, the second stanza stood out in bold relief: “No divine purpose brings freedom from sin, and peace is a gift that must come from within.” Good intentions are not enough, and peace comes from an inner knowing, an understanding of who we really are. The song reminded me of something I had forgotten in the aftermath of my sister’s death: that we must go within, and that perhaps it is even more important to do so when we face crisis, and during this hectic season. I’ve been listening to it over and over as a form of meditation on faith, the season and hope. The beauty of the melody, the piano and violin instrumentals, and especially Alison Krauss’s ethereal voice, clear as a winter sky….the song takes you from the depths of loss to hope, and finally, sets the heart soaring. It then brings the listener down to earth gently, ready to start again.

In this week of Thanksgiving, many of us are appreciating the special relationships we have that inspire us to reach our greatest potential.

We recently introduced you to Lucy, our Shih Tzu, because she inspires us every day. Lucy is ten pounds of courage and integrity….she seems to feel her ‘job’ is to guard us, her family, against any and all intruders. I have seen Lucy cause a 90 pound lab to cower in a corner with his tail between his legs! She lives a Big Dog Life in a little dog body, and I think we can all be like that.

There is something much larger within us than we usually acknowledge; and if we consciously align with that larger part of ourselves, our lives will be transformed. Thanksgiving is about noticing and appreciating the abundance that we have available to us both within and without; and realizing, like Lucy, that we can live a life that is large in spirit.

Happy Thanksgiving!